Ah, the teenage years. We were all there once and now we're on the other side - as parents. Most of us, as teenagers, probably thought we'd have a great relationship with our kids when we became parents - we'd be "cool" parents and our kids and their friends would think we were cool too. Guess what, things sure look different once we get here.
Kids and young adults live a carefree "no fear" lifestyle where invincibility rules. That notion disappears the moment the first child is born and we are suddenly transformed into another world where "fear" rules the day and we essentially become "our" parents.
Fear becomes our safety mechanism and we no longer throw caution to the wind, certainly not where are kids are concerned. One of the best ways to keep fear at bay is to talk to your kids, know what the are doing and how they feel, and keep an open relationship with them. It may not always work but keep plugging away.
Still, there will be times when they just won't open up and we need to understand that. Teenage years have always been tough and we need to understand that there are times when teenagers need some space but keep the door open for them when they do want to talk or need some guidance.
There's a good article that sets the groundwork and shines a light on some of the issues that kids don't want to talk about.
It outlines 10 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You:
1. She needs privacy. 2. Sometimes he just needs you to listen. 3. She may be dating—even if you've explicitly said she can't. 4. He may not be getting great grades on every assignment 5. She doesn't want to talk to you about sex. 6. He hates when you don't hold his siblings accountable. 7. She wishes you'd cut her some slack. 8. He lies to stay out of trouble. 9. She gets frustrated when you use her age to your advantage. 10. He wishes you would trust him.